I’ve been at this Tokyo Marathon training thing for 3 weeks now. Time flies when you’re having fun, right? Here’s how training went this week:
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There was some shuffling of the training plan to compensate for foul weather on the weekend. I ran my long run on Thanksgiving morning and I’m glad I did. There’s a raging snowstorm in progress as I type.
Monday: Yoga
Tuesday: Run 6 miles
Wednesday: Half-assed strength/core
Thursday: Run 14 miles
Friday: Rest
Saturday: Run 4 miles + 1 mile track repeats
Sunday: CrossFit
Overall a decent week on the workout front, although I’ve yet to get to that cycle class.
Relinquishing Control
This was our year to celebrate Thanksgiving with the in-laws. Hurricane MIL is firmly in charge of all things Thanksgiving (well all things in general), except with a broken leg, she had to relinquish some of that control this year. In a “normal” year, she’d insist on doing all the cooking then promptly lose her shit in the midst of the serving portion of the day, then keep very close score on who helped with cleanup, who complimented her how many times, etc.
This year we celebrated Thanksgiving at my BIL’s house and each of us was assigned a dish or two, while the turkey, stuffing and a couple of sides were ordered in. MIL said she wasn’t up to making any pies (understandably) yet wouldn’t allow any of the rest of us to make/bring dessert because it’s “her thing” and she was only up to making cookies, so cookies it was. But overall it was one of the nicest, least stressful holidays for everyone because MIL didn’t lose her shit.
This got me to thinking about control and controlling people. Is there magic in relinquishing control? Why is it so difficult to let go of control sometimes?
Control is a manifestation of fear. More specifically the fear of not meeting expectations. Either those we set for ourselves or those we set for others.
When we control, we are not living in the present, but rather managing expectations for a desired outcome in the future. Not all bad right? Setting goals and working to attain them are good things. Setting running goals and working toward PRs is a good thing. But agonizing on those numbers to the point of anguish, making running no longer fun is not. Sometimes you have to step back and breathe a little before you can move forward.
When you relinquish control:
- You stop setting expectations for others
- You learn to listen to your body and realize you do not thrive on stress
- You become more spontaneous
- You become more flexible and willing to go with the flow rather than adhere to the plan
- You learn to listen to the opinions of others without judgement or offering your own
- You become more patient, with yourself and others
Are there times when you realize you are stressed out because you insist on being in control? Have you noticed benefits when you relinquish control?
Loving
Peppermint Bark Quest Bars. It’s no secret I’m a peppermint bark fanatic. Just look at what I get at Starbucks at holiday time. Peppermint Mocha anyone? I’ve also been known to drag home a bag or 6 of those white chocolate peppermint pretzels. This Quest Bar is like a fudgy brownie with a layer of peppermint goodness on top. It’s chewy delicious and packs 21g protein. Yes please!
FRE Skincare 50% off! If you haven’t tried FRE, now’s the best time cuz it’s half off now thru Cyber Monday only and supplies are limited so when it’s gone it’s GONE. Specially formulated for sweaty, post-workout skin, it leaves my skin feeling clean, and refreshed while not dried out, which is so common in cold weather. Plus for every FRE skincare set sold, they’ll plant an Argan tree. Try it for yourself by ordering here and use code RUNDEF to score half off.
Not Loving
Our favorite frozen custard place closed for the season the day before Thanksgiving. The final week their flavors of the day were all fun holiday ones pumpkin spice, peppermint stick, egg nog and gingerbread. We were there for the gingerbread frozen custard on the final day when the woman in front of us asked “how much gingerbread do you have left?” Then she bought ALL OF IT! I’m talking gallons here. Had I not sent the Caveman to stand out there in line, I think I might have begged her for just a scoop before she wiped out the supply. I mean come on!
Did you score any good Black Friday deals? Do you struggle with relinquishing control? Fave holiday flavor?
Oh, Mr. Judy would absolutely tell you I’m a control freak. Which is the pot calling the kettle black. Sometimes, yes, but not as much as he thinks I am.
I’d be happy to have some help with the food, but no one else wants to so that’s just the way it is. Except going forward it won’t be. C’est la vie. It’s never been my favorite holiday, frankly!
I do like to bake, but my sister offered to bring pies (which she purchased) & I said fine.
Sounds like you survived (maybe even thrived?).
WTH is wrong with people? When Whole Foods gets the Copper River Salmon, the fishmonger told me that people order like 50# of it. Just another type of hoarder who wants it all for themselves.
Glad to hear that Thanksgiving was pleasant! It’s really interesting about control, which is what I think is my sister’s issue too. As in controlling people who do things she doesn’t like…
I’d love to hear more about the half-assed strength/core workout…
I plead the 5th on how many SB Peppermint Mochas I’ve consumed! I do get less pumps of syrup though. That’s got to count for something? You and I could swap stories about family members with control issues…Add in depression with an obsessive compulsive disorder and it’s a recipe for disaster (or at least getting kicked out of your assisted living facility). Sigh. Great work on the T-giving 14 miler! Thanks for linking.
We have some control issues on my side of the family for sure. Our T day was a little more stressful than I had hoped for but was not surprised. Moving on and trying to let go myself! Great job on your 14 miler bet that felt great!
Ah this topic is so great! I had major control issues for a long time which lead to some pretty dark places. There is 100% magic in letting go. I can spontaneously go meet friends for lunch instead of obsessing over the menu and my self-care/self-love has dramatically improved. Thanks for sharing!
Glad you were able to get in your long run on Thanksgiving! I have issues with control for sure lol. I know it’s good to let go of it but it can be hard. Definitely depends on the situation for me. It’s nice that you had such a good Thanksgiving this year!
I am a firm believer in relinquishing control to save sanity! Glad your MIL was able to let go at least a little bit! You are exactly right – none of us is a professional runner. When we obsess over splits, PRs, and expectations, we lose the joy of running. Great post! Loved it!
Ahhhhh the holidays with family. Although I no longer have any “new” MIL stories, I have a pretty good arsenal, and your’s are every bit as good LOL Now, it’s my mom that is really getting on my last nerve and all the entitlement she feels is warranted. Let’s just say she (and my father) showed up 80 minutes early for Thanksgiving dinner…and she sat around and watched all the last-minute stuff come together without offering to help. I love all your thought on giving up control on the running stuff….for me, that has been vital in enjoying the sport.
I do find it’s a lot less stressful to be in charge of a couple dishes for Thanksgiving and not the whole thing. I think it’s calmer on everyone. My family had a great Thanksgiving and no stress involved.
Yes. I like to be in control. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I always did the cooking. Now my mil refuses to leave her house and my stepsons fiancée cooked there. The food was just ok and no sweet potatos but I had to give up control. C’est ka vie.
I hope the MIL doesn’t know about the blog!!! I would be worried if I shared the same as I know mine does read mine occasionally (to keep up with what her son is doing, as he is not great about calling her).
14 miles on Thanksgiving- how awesome! Good for you. Very excited to continue following your training for an awesome upcoming race schedule 🙂
So glad your Thanksgiving was less stressful. It was nice to dodge my control freak inlaws this year!
Those Quest bars sound like something I need in my life 😉
Peppermint Bark! I knew there was a reason I liked you 🙂
I managed to avoid Williams Sonoma sale on it. My crack all weekend has been my Peppermint Bark keurig. Have you ever tried the Friendly’s peppermint stick? Love that too
Oh score keeping. Le sigh
OMG, I am a control freak about so many things. I am trying to let go, but the struggle is real! I relinquished a lot of control over Thanksgiving dinner, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut when my son was pouring salt on the green beans like a blizzard. Of course, I was overreacting and the beans were fine. 🙂 I definitely am happier when I relinquish control — when I realize I am not responsible.
Wow, your MIL sounds like a piece of work! I’m glad she was able to relinquish some control over dinner, though she didn’t have a choice! When it comes to certain things, I can definitely become a control freak. I guess it’s the pressure (I create in my head) to have everything just right? I will definitely be thinking about this!
Oh I heard you guys are getting hit with a snowstorm, hopefully it isn’t too bad!
Kudos to you for getting in your long run on Thanksgiving!
I’m glad that your Thanksgiving was less stressful this year – that’s always a good thing! I am definitely guilty of being a control freak when it comes to certain things but I have learned that there’s no shame in asking for help sometimes!
Ahhhh. MIL stories. I can go on for days. My MIL is unmedicated crazy, which would be mean to say if she didn’t create a living hell for all those around her. And yes, a control freak in addition to being crazy. My FIL handles that by doing absolutely nothing since he cannot do anything right. (I think he likes being served, however, so…) We’ve escaped to another state to distance ourselves but Christmas is coming and there is no getting out of that one. Misery loves company.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and we always host (and by we I mean my husband cuz he does most of the cooking) because I want to have all the food that I like, the smells, the leftovers, and to stay home. Idk if that’s control or just selfish but it is what it is.
I probably would’ve gotten a couple of pies and pretended I didn’t know that it was “her thing”. 😉 What’s Thanksgiving without pie??