I’m talking about BPM. If you thought I was referring to Beats Per Minute, you’d be wrong. I’m talking about one of the newer innovations in women’s workout fashion. First there were sports bras. Then singlets with a shelf bra. Next came molded boob cups (or MBC’s) These were highly sought after because they covered the “headlights” many of us have when we run. But then, I think it was the Handful Bra Company (I may be wrong, don’t hold me to this) that changed everything. The advent of boob pads. Removable ones. Before I could say C-cup, almost every sports bra, workout top and swimsuit had them. Great idea right? No more high beams (unless you want them, of course).
But wait, there’s a catch. And here is where my rant starts:
These wonderful boob pads? I think they multiply. I’ve got beige ones, white ones, black ones, thick ones, thin ones, contoured ones. I’d do a giveaway for a boob pad caddy or other such management system if I had one BUT I DON’T! I can’t remember which ones go to what anymore or which way they go in the garment. Round side first? Flat side? Why does the opening have to be so small? Laparoscopic surgery isn’t in my wheelhouse. Do I wash them? Use them as cooling sponges when they’re sweat-soaked? Allowing them to fly around my dryer seems wrong in so many ways.
I haven’t even gotten to the biggest issue…
Migration. Is there a seminar or at least a manual for that? Case in point: Our trip to Europe. When you’re in the Mediterranean, you don’t wear just any momkini. You have to go for something that screams St. Tropez or French Riviera….I don’t care, pick a beach any beach. Just not one on the Great Lakes. Something white-hot and fabulous like this.
Know why she’s covering her chest? Cuz her boob pads migrated. Yes they did. I speak from experience. Especially in swimsuits, those suckers migrate more than Canadian Geese. One minute the girls are all settled in and happy, the next minute the high-beams are out and there’s a trout-like lump that you can’t just go digging in to fix. Because remember accessing that boob pad takes laparoscopic precision. Who has that skill in the middle of a foreign beach, hmmmm?
So forget the MBA, I need a PhD in BPM. Boob Pad Management. That’s my rant for the day. Boob pad makers we love you but we NEEEEED you to create something more, shall we say, trustworthy.
How about you: High beams yay or nay? Are you an expert at BPM?
I’m joining the Fit & Fashionable linkup
…and That Time of the Month Linkup.
Hahahaha – I have a whole drawer full of these darn things because I can’t ever get them back in place the right way.
Oh no! I keep tossing mine out because they come out in the wash! Silly me!!
This made me laugh soo hard because I know exactly what you mean! I just found a new swim suit brand that doesn’t use BP’s and fits me so well without being mom-ish. It’s Captiva by Christina (made by Soma bra company). I also have a drawer full of boob pads. I’ve thrown out SO many.
Excellent! Seriously, even with pads I still get headlights & I’m small!
But I don’t take the pads out? Are you supposed to?
Man, I hate the boob pads! I get finger cramps trying to get them in the little openings in the cups. And if they’re in there but folded in half! Yikes!
Haha! Great post! Thanks for linking up!
LOL. Sometimes my husb does my laundry and he has no idea what to do with them. And, while he might enjoy adjusting them for me, it’s really not something I want to fiddle with when I’m trying to get ready for the gym.
OMG I can so relate to this!!!!! Great rant for today for the link up! My thing is I don’t take them out when I wash the garment they were in and then they get ate by the washer or dryer whichever, and then I have just odd ones. You can’t wear two different ones cause then you’d be lop-sided! There has got to be a better option for us out there, we just haven’t found it yet! I’m a high beam myself wish I was not. 🙁
LMAO!!!!! Seriously we need to plan a girls weekend committee meeting and discuss this further!!! Me? I take them out or there isn’t enough room for the boobs! Cheers my friend! Funny !
ahahahaha! I’m dying over here. This is so true. Every time I do the laundry, the boob pads come out and I have to figure out which ones go with which bra and squeeze them through that tiny hole and rotate them around to make sure they’re not lumpy. Gah!
I see. Yes, I have to usually fiddle with them after washing & usually can’t get it right either. You’re not alone!
They do require surgery for reinsertion! I roll them up and stick them back in the tiny hole. Then you’ve got to figure out how to unfurl them. It’s a science. Truly. But no no no to headlights!! Thanks for linking up with us today. I appreciate it.
Yay for high beams. How else will people notice you in the dark. I don’t do boob pads. I just don’t care that much about how my boobs look while I’m running. I do care how they feel and they have to feel contained and compressed. Can’t cope with any bounce.
BHAHAHAHAHA, OMG, this had me laughing so hard because it’s SO true!! I have a drawer full of them. While I couldn’t live without them, they are a huge pain in the ass!
I always get those suckers out because I’d way rather have the high beams on than a weird folded rectangular boob going on!! 😉
HAHAHA!!!! So many yesses!!!
I hate sports bras that come with them and refuse to buy them, and I usually rip them out of swimsuits.
LOL love this post! Too funny! I have so many boob pads and have no idea which goes with what bra. I should just throw them out because I don’t even use them anymore. :p
OMGOSH THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT ABOUT THE PADS.
I can never ever get em back in right.
:/
We’re all thinking it! Why can’t designers come up with a way to make the pads permanent? Really. Who is going to remove them by choice? You’re hilarious.
Adding my name to the petition for manufacturers to either stop putting this in things or to make them a permanent part of the garment! So, so annoying.
When I remember, I use safety pins to hold them in place when I wash them otherwise I spend way too many minutes (hours?) of my life trying to get them back in the stupid top. At this point, though, I basically refuse to buy a sports bra that has them. Which means I’d better hope my current sports bras last awhile!
I cannot relate to this post as I am an “almost” A cup! I have boob pads in my bikini top but my boobs are so small that the boob pad covers the entire boob- there is nowhere for it to migrate!
I do suffer from high beams sometimes though. 🙂 I have no problem sporting high beams if I am running. But if I am lifting at the gym, I am a bit more self conscious about the high beam situation and sometimes use the “tape down” method hahaha.
Who decided that “headlights” were a shameful thing that we needed to hide? So I have nipples, BFD … EVERYONE HAS THEM. I sometimes shop at Intimacy for bras, and they carry a lot of European brands and apparently most Euro bras aren’t lined … lined/molded cups seem to be unique to the USA’s modesty. To which I say, so what???? Do my nipples offend? I don’t care.
Ha! I am in a very small cup,. but i still like a lining. My sport bra pads always move, so now I just try to find ones that are double lined….modesty 🙂
I almost always end up yanking them out and tossing after 1 wash because they’ve become bunched up and I don’t have the patience or child-sized fingers to rearrange them. Why aren’t they just sewn in place? 2-3 stitches seems like it’d do the trick. Like how shoulder pads were ‘secured’ yet removable if you didn’t want them. Surely that’d be doable bra makers!