Thing 2’s school sold Valentine mailgrams last week as a fundraiser. Kids bought them for their teachers and friends and they were delivered at the class party on Valentine’s Day. Thing 2 was very excited to take money to school and buy some for her friends in first grade. I reminded her she would have change coming back. However when she came home that day she told me she bought extra mailgrams with the change instead. Sweet.
When she returned from school on Valentine’s Day I noticed she’d received just one mailgram. I’m not usually a tit-for-tat kind of person. Maybe this was just my mama bear protective claws coming out. I wasn’t bothered that she didn’t receive as many as she sent but I was concerned her feelings would be hurt that she didn’t get one from her BFF. This couldn’t have been further from the truth. She was in great spirits and told me “I wanted to buy 4 and don’t care at all how many I got.”
Thing 1 (age 11) on the other hand, perceived it as a federal offense. It appears one of my kids has a strong sense of ‘equity’ while the other couldn’t care less.
Is score keeping/reciprocity whatever you want to call it, innate? Or is it something that is learned?
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On the workout front, here’s how the week went:
- Monday Endurance Spin
- Tuesday yoga, 30 minute run/walk, upper body weights/core
- Wednesday 10 miles, weights for legs
- Thursday plyo interval workout/2 miles running
- Friday Track ladder (1200, 1000, 800, 600, 400, 200) 5 miles, full body weights
- Saturday rest
- Sunday 9.2 miles
Are you sitting down? knock wood, all of my runs were good! I think I’m on to something I will share soon. Conditions yesterday may have been perfect: 17 degrees when I got out but NO WIND! Bright sun, minimal ice.
I chose my hilliest route which is about 6 miles of rollers with one doozey hill. After that I turn around and let loose on the downhills. The beauty is that even after 9 miles, I felt like I had plenty more in me. We always have more.
Happy President’s Day! Are you off today?
If kids give valentines at our school they give them to everyone in the class. In the younger grades it’s not a problem.
I think both my girls would have been like your youngest, so happy to give and not worried about getting something back. But, I am sure as they get older that will surely change.
Nice hilly, COLD run yesterday. I hate under 20 degree runs. 🙂
For things with my kids, it is hard to not want to keep score. I think the fact that I have boys helps (they don’t really care about a lot of it).
Your perfect running conditions made me laugh – 17 degrees would never make the cut for me!! (more like 60!!) Glad your running is going so well!
We are all off here! Enjoy your day!
In Alex’s class, they hand out Valentines to everyone. But in the middle school, they can buy flowers and send messages to each other, either secretly or with names. Aidan sent out several flowers but didn’t get any back, but his older brother got a ton back and sent out only 1. Neither kid seemed to feel slighted or better than his brother. I guess it must be learned? And thankfully they haven’t learned it yet!
I’m off today, 7 frigid miles to do with a few inches of new snow. Happy Presidents Day!
Andrea they do the regular Valentine’s for everyone in class as well. I feel like the mailgram was maybe an unnecessary extra. We didn’t have things like this until high school, although that was in the stone age!
That’s really cool that she wasn’t keeping “score.” More about giving. And great job with the running. No wind is always a plus 😉
Woohoo for awesome runs!!!
I wonder if things will change as your daughter gets older. I feel like it’s not you that makes you feel bad about getting one valentine, it’s everyone else commenting on it. Maybe when you’re younger the teasing isn’t as bad?
Wow, what a great week of workouts! So glad you’re feeling so good. Let’s stay healthy together, no injuries! 🙂 And yes, I’m seeing those mama bear claws come out more in myself, especially not that L goes to “school” two mornings. It’s hard to realize we can’t protect them from pain…
Interesting thought. Think that it’s a reaction to the stimulus in ones environment and they way that an adult or child learns how to respond to stressors. Clearly I’m not a doctor of psychological professional, but seems like this stuff all relates back to stress management. With younger girls this kind of stuff I’m sure is tricky! Girls more so than boys seem to be more vocal with their emotions at young ages.
Oh the joys of a preteen! I can remember when I was ages 10-18 my mother always said that she hopes I one day have a daughter just like me so that I understand why she was always so frustrated. Never knew what she was talking about because I’m sure I was a peach 😉
I’m not a fan of this concept for the exact reason thing #2 got bent out of shape – some kids get their feelings hurt. I understand it was a fundraiser, but it also promotes that ugly world “popular” – and it can lead to so much more down the road. Been there done that!!
Awesome job on the runs feeling good!!! Hooray! Can’t wait to hear your theory.
Miss you!!
Yay for a great week of runs and training! Glad it is working for you, whatever it is.
Interesting about your kids–my oldest/you gets are switched. I’ve always perceived it as a second child thing, but apparently not!
Great week! Curious to hear what you’ve got working for you.
My youngest is in 1st grade too and I don’t think he would have taken it nearly as well as Thing 2 did!
lol. I think I am a tit for tat type of gal. At our kids school everyone must receive a Valentine. The teacher sent home a note with all the kids first and last names. I had my kid write out first and last names all by herself to all of her little friends. When she got home and we went through her cards, she was the only one to do it!! Plus so many parents wrote out the cards for their kids I was like wth! I felt like mom of the year!
i’m definitely a score-keeper, but i’m trying to not be! it’s not a great ‘trait’ to have in my opinion and really i shouldn’t care. good for your kiddo!
Sounds like you had a great week! The cross training looks like fun 🙂
As for kids, it is so funny how one will get upset and the other won’t even notice. My twins definitely have different thresholds for “justice”.
I don’t think it’s really keeping score. I think it’s easy for many kids to look around and see how many Valentine’s others got and then just be disappointed or feel like others don’t like them when they don’t get any or get a lot less than the other kids. I remember feeling that way when I was a kid and I always hated it when we did the Valentines mailgrams because I knew that I wasn’t going to get any. However, I still bought a few for others and I knew that the people who I was buying for didn’t get money from their parents to purchase.
Congrats on your great running week!
I do score keep when it comes to family. But not when it comes to friends. Why is that?
I try not to keep score, and generally I succeed. I think it has to do with being the youngest in my family. I didn’t get what I wanted much 😉 And, I am a giver usually and less a taker.
I was not off, but my husband was 🙁 (Maybe I do keep score! ha ha)
YAY for great workouts and strong running. I felt awesome awesome awesome in Austin. I was smiling ear to ear.
I was off, but I’m on vacation if I had been working I would have had to go to work.
I think that “keeping score” is learned and innate. I think it is hard to not learn some behavior/feelings nowadays. I try not to keep score but sometimes it is hard not to.
Great job with your workouts for the week!