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I attended the Healthy Chicago Summit last weekend. One of the speakers was a health and fitness expert with a specialty in nutrition. Since I’m newly into my gluten- and processed food free initiative, I was eager to pick her brain about all things thyroid. I like to think I’ve got the workout end of the equation committed to habit, but for me nutrition is the final frontier. Although I think I know what I ‘should’ be doing, I’ve never been great on the food end, at least not for any length of time.
So I enlisted the help of the nutritionist and she asked me for some baselines: plank time, max pushups, mile time, body measurements.
Plank? Pushups? Are you kidding me? You’re talking to a badass. This is the home of the 10 minute planker. Mile time? Not lighting the world on fire right now, but still, no worries. Like I said: Badass. Lives. Here.
Then I got out the tape measure. While I’ve been weighing regularly, sort of, it’s been years since I’ve done measuring of any kind.
My badass house came crashing down around me as soon as I wrapped that puppy around my waist. 30.
Wait what? I put on my geriatric reading glasses to be sure.
30. Effing 30.
30″ as in rotunda.
30″ as in that’s why I hate all my MCM pics.
30″ as in that’s why I feel squidgy and unfit, despite my weight being within 5 lbs of optimal.
30″ as in perilously close to the point where it becomes a health concern. A cardiac risk and all the jazz I thought I was running from. It is gaining on me and gaining fast.
30″ as in menopause here we come. Damn you Father Time, Mother Nature and anyone else I can blame.
Face it: I’m becoming my mother. Sorry mom, love you but…
30″ for my height and build, is just not badass.
It’s not like I thought I had washboard abs or anything and I know it’s wrong to define ourselves by any numbers like age, weight, income, shoe size, all of it. But holy belly fat Batman, I’m ticked.
Sorry if I offended anyone. Just had to get that out. Hopefully I’ll report back with some stunning progress. Soon!
Have you ever been hit upside the head with something unexpected?
Yep…at a dr’s appt 15 or so years ago when I carried my file from the exam room to the front desk and read that the dr had checked the little diagnosis/condition box that read “obese”. Wake up call. I mean, I knew I was heavy, but I thought obese was like getting stuck in the bathtub.
Hitting isn’t very nice (as we’re trying to teach in our house). Did you tell the tape measure to stop it?
I think it’s always surprising when you feel like you are doing everything right and the numbers don’t reflect that. I’ve had some issues with the scale not showing me what I think I’ve earned. And while I would like to throw the scale out the window, I usually take note and move on. I try to base everything on how I feel.
A 10 minute plank? That is awesome. I am around 4 minutes. I don’t wanna measure my waist. Ever. However I will measure my calves any day! 😉
Don’t worry – I guarantee after your “no processed food month” that number will be a distant memory!
Last year I turned 50 years old and have NEVER felt better…then BAM – got some news that knocked me for a loop. However; now since it’s assimilated – I’m going full force again. onward!
My body comp when I started weight training after babies was a similar slap upside the head. I should do body comp again, actually….it’s been a while….now I’m scared!
Sigh. . . one woman’s 30″ is another woman’s washboard – my kingdom for a 30″ inch waist!
Hi Marcia! Thanks for welcoming me back.
Considering how badass you are…I just know we’ll be hearing positive updates real soon! Good luck with the new gluten and processed free diet. You’re my hero!
You are still a badass, that is for sure! I bet your gluten free diet will help. Since I started eating lower carb, it naturally cut out a lot of the gluten since I stopped eating bread. I’m amazed at how much better I feel and much less bloated. No worries- you are still amazing!
I’m sorry, you lost me at 10-minute plank. Are you effing kidding me???????????
I prefer to measure my calves and ankles, Thank you.
The tape measure is not my friend either. But I’m just wondering if some of that girth comes from the core muscles that are strong enough to hold a ten minute plank. I knew a body builder once who looked really lean but had an impressive waist measurement. Her muscle bulk added inches to it.
I’m so sorry, no matter what the number, if it’s what you’re not expecting that is devestating. I wonder why that is if you’re within 5 lbs of optimal? Maybe its just all badass bulked up muscle from that mad planking!
Doctors and experts are way too heavy of a wake up call. I prefer to have those moments alone in my house so I can curse out loud.
Ah yes….the ugly thing that hits us women….menopause….or for you Peri menopause…. I am in surgically induced menopause so I know about it….I think that you should go see your OBGYN and demand for a blood test for your hormones levels …I bet you $10 your progesterone is too low and that thicker waist line…. Read this book : Ageless.
I’m sorry! I hate those moments… my waist has always been my trouble spot, it’s a genetic thing in our family for sure. My mom and grandma are average sized, but we don’t have the curvy waist that some woman have… I’ve accepted it but measuring my waist is never a good idea. 🙂
10 minutes?!?!?! Damn woman you are my hero! That is super freaking impressive. My jaw dropped when I read that. As far as the 30″…it may have been a surprise but it appears you want to kick that number down to the ground and I have no doubt you will. 🙂 I think you look great btw; however, I know how difficult it is when we see certain numbers we never want to see.
10 minutes!? I’m shaking at 45 seconds! You must share your secret. That’s crazy good!