I thought I was handling this whole pre-marathon injury fiasco fairly well until I found myself in tears in the middle of a spin class the other day. I think it’s part of the process of letting go. Of grieving the loss of the marathon I might have run had things been different. Ok so the stress of being grossly under-prepared is getting to me.
Today I’m having a virtual exorcism: Facing the obstacles head-on, confronting the fears and nagging doubts, the what-ifs, should haves, could haves, etc. and sending them on their way, never to dwell upon them again. This is the post where I burn some incense, maybe chant a little and let my fears float away. No sense in worrying now right? Easier said than done.
Ok the scary stuff. From no real biggie to scares the crap outta me:
- Rain: Not the worst scenario by any means but not optimal either. I’ve never run a full marathon in rain so have no clue what chafing/blistering issues I can expect.
- Heat: This is my kryptonite. It has a way of unhinging me mentally. Plus I seem to be a heat magnet with more than my share of inferno-like races. Right now there’s a 30-40% chance of rain with lows in the low 50s, highs in the low 60’s. I’ll take it.
- Course Cutoffs: There’s that gauntlet to beat at mile 17.5. I NEED to be there before 12:20pm. As if that weren’t enough there’s also a bridge to beat at mile 20 unless I want to ride the sag wagon in. I’ve got until 1:05pm. No pressure or anything.
- Early Hip Pain: The longer I can go pain free the better my chances are of finishing. Making it through the Zooma 5k pain free was a very good sign. Plus I’ve been resting/strengthening/stretching the crabass hip like it’s my job.
- Calf Strain: I suspect it’s almost a given this will be an issue. Best case, it’ll hurt. During the 5k it seemed to ‘warmup’ as I went and the pain was tolerable. It’s anybody’s guess how it’ll handle 26.2. In the meantime, there’s a whole mess of calf voodoo happening around here.
- Mentally Giving Up: Once I get in my head it’s game over. If I dwell on the negatives listed above or my sub-par training and start making excuses for why I can’t finish, I won’t. Staying in the game mentally is probably my biggest challenge.
How do you face down your fears?
Time is running out on my Yurbuds giveaway. Are you in?
I’m so sorry. Hugs to you!
I don’t have the same kind of fears as you do because I don’t have a fast running ability or high expectations for myself to live up to. That said, this little 30K trail race in a few weeks has me a little stressed since my training has been everything BUT running. So for me, I just have to remind myself that it is what it is, and I’m getting the race I earned. That doesn’t really help in your situation, though.
I only have 3 minutes to surf — so, I am visiting here. I know “Big Deal” right? Anyway — I really have no fears when racing. Not that I have done much of it. My perfect conditions would be 45 degrees and a steady rain or snow. Other than that – no worries. I hate the wind though; but, who does not?
Good luck with your exorcism!!
Good luck! You and I both know you have it in you to finish. Just go out, don’t over-think it, and you’ll be fine.
Well, let me allay some weather fears for you: It will not be hot! And I think the rain will hold off until Sun. evening from the looks of it, leaving you with perfect temps. Mentally, you are tough–you have set your sights on this race and you will do it. End of story.
Aww, good luck! I have been thru your situation before. I think the fear and mental anguish before the race is worse than the physical pain during the race! I hope everything works out for you!
Try going into it viewing it as another challenge/experience. You have some obstacles to overcome but dig deep to tap into your mental and physical strength that you’ve been building for months. No matter what, you’re going to try to do your best..and that’s all you can ever really ask for..at least that’s what my parents taught me. Wishing you the best for your race! 🙂
Tears are a good release… you’ve had a lot of what ifs and stress in this crazy cycle. Do your best, get through it, and you’ll have a chance to recover 100% and tackle running again!
You’ve proven this training cycle just how mentally tough you are so not crossing that finish line is not even going to be an option for you – so put that thought out of your head! Keep that calf voodoo working – you’re almost there!
I am just here to offer some moral support and cheer you on! 🙂
And share my mantra… EMBRACE THE SUCK
Heat is the worst. We were training for Disney all Winter in New Jersey in 20/30 degree weather, and race day it got up to 70 and humid. It was HORRIBLE. Cramping everywhere. But, we finished, and considered it a lesson learned. Plus, how could you not be happy running through Disney?
I totally understand, Marcia! It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been doing this, does it, stuff still comes up with every race. I always thought that at some point, I would quit stressing about races (and worrying about injuries, etc.), but no, I still do. I guess it’s part of the game. I think it’s smart your talking about it and not letting it churn around in your head. I’m rooting for you!
Ugh. Can i join this exorcism?? If you don’t give up, I won’t give up either. Deal?
I’m running MCM this weekend too and am also really undertrained. I know the feeling of thinking of what could have been and knowing it’s not going to happen this time. For me, I announced it was going to be a fun run, I’m wearing a tutu, and purposely turning it into an event instead of a race for me. There will always be another marathon to chase my next PR.
I’m sorry things aren’t going your way. Make the best of it and try to enjoy it as much as you can.
Do you wear calf compression sleeves? Whenever I have any kind of calf tightness or Achilles tightness I wear them 24/7. I use the Zensah ones, and they have really helped a lot. I also wear them in every race. Just a thought!
It seems like the last few days before a big race are so stressful – whether you’re struggling with injuries or dealing with preparing for the race. You can do it!
You’re asking the wrong person if you want to know how I chase down my fears. Me, who ran a half marathon two weeks ago under the influence of Valium. So I guess my answer is that I face my fears with hard, addictive drugs.
You’ve gotten all those negatives out of your head, and onto your laptop, so keep them there. I do that with a journal, I get it all out, then close the book on them. My head is then clear, and I get kind of zen, stay focused and centered, with my eye on the prize.