I’m in the midst of week 3 of physical therapy for my ornery hip. The diagnosis, in case you missed it:
Weak right side
Weak glutes
Overburdened left side, complete with bruised hamstring compliments of the yoga incident
Tight left hip that sits higher than the right thanks to said tightness and all of the above
What PT is doing:
I warmup by side stepping on the mill at 3 incline to strengthen my lateral hip movement.
PT does myofascial release on my left hip. Hurts so good.
Next comes some leg yanking voodoo designed to coax my ornery hip down into place.
Then we do a billion repeats of a million different exercises that all seem to involve butt clenching, bridging, lifting, lifting while clenching, step and clench, lunge and clench, clench and clench, you get the picture.
Remember how I laughed at that lady in line in front of me at Subway because I could see her clenching through her yoga pants? Yeah well that’s me. My life has become one massive ass clench.
You may remember last week I was all bummed because it was me and a bunch of geriatrics all getting therapy for their hip and knee replacements.
Well friends, things are looking up in the therapy gym.
Yesterday? I had the privilege of clenching next to a collegiate platform diver.
I wanted so badly to ask her how how it feels to do a half gainer with a triple twist (who does not love Olympic diving?). But I didn’t want to lose count of my clamshells.
Other Workout News:
Since last week here was a festival of rain, I rode zippo on Blanche except for Sunday. Instead I showed up for potluck cardio at the uber gym. Potluck because I’m either too lazy or too much of a dunce maybe both? to go online to see what the 8:30 workout du jour is.
Monday Cardio Kickboxing followed by PT
Tuesday Weights and PT homework
Wednesday HIT (High intensity training. Good times) followed by PT
Thursday Weights and PT homework
Friday Cardio Kickboxing (lucky me again. Eyeroll.) More PT
Saturday Rest
Sunday 30 miles on Blanche and PT homework
All of this physical therapy seems oddly indulgent. According to the physical therapist, I am to try running this Sunday. I have little to no trust in my body anymore. We’ll see how that goes and proceed from there.
